Bikram

I've always referred to Bikram as "The McDonald's of Yoga", but that was my own assumption without actually ever having taken a class. So yesterday, in the interest of being able to back myself up with some facts (or refuting my basic assumptions) I took one.

This took some courage on my part. For those of you that don't know, Bikram is done in a hot room - 105 degrees celsius and 40% humidity to be precise. One of the reasons given for this on the Bikram web site is the heat increases the heart rate, turning this into an aerobic exercise... Just a few more points for background: 1) it consists of a fixed, "scientifically" developed sequence of 26 poses, developed by the eponymous Mr. Bikram Chadhoury, 2) it's probably the only branch of yoga, with the possible exception of yoga clothing, that's making real money for its developers - in this case Bikram himself, who is well known for his collection of Rolls Royces (remember the Rajneesh...?), and 3) Bikram has patented(!) his sequence of poses and has legally pursued those who try to teach his sequence or variants of it without paying him royalties.

BTW, as a side comment, my anecdotal impression had been that Bikram's the branch of yoga that appeals most to men.

So, I checked out the Bikram web site and off I went. I decided to wear my absolute lightest yoga pants (black ones), along with my one and only sports bra (a white one, you'll find out why this is important very soon...).

Bikram has over 600 studios in the U.S. and hundreds more worldwide, but the highest concentration is in San Francisco. A friend of mine has speculated that's because Bikram actually appeals to gay guys, but I wasn't sure. An alternative explanation was offered by a female friend from San Francisco, who claimed that her girlfriends like to take a Bikram class before dates, because the water they lose during the class allows them to fit into their tighter jeans... That may have become a fad in San Fran... But more importantly, the international headquarters of Bikram is in L.A., less then three miles from my house on La Cienega Blvd. I was going to the holy of the holies itself.

If you've ever been to a regular yoga studio in L.A., you'll know that they're normally pretty upscale in an organic foods type of way. Hardwood floors, soft colors, entry hall full of books and clothes meant to empty your pocket book and fill your soul with the right Zenish New Agey feel. The world headquarters of Bikram is very different. Situated in a fairly run down part of La Cienega Blvd, it's housed in a large commercial building that was probably once a warehouse of the type that doesn't have loft potential...

The pricing, as I'd already found out on the web site, was high. $20 for asingle class, $150 for a 10 class pack, and $250 for unlimited monthly.Compare this to $17 a single class and $120 a month for unlimited monthly at most L.A. yoga studios.

What did the Bikram devotees look like? Well, quite normal. About 40% male (vs 20-30% at regular yoga classes). Not particularly fit, but reasonably so. Reasonably affluent (judging by their cars), and fairly young - mostly in their 20's and early 30's, with a few teenagers in the mix.

But of course what you really want to know is what the class was like. Well, here's a brief summary. Even though the room was overwhelmingly hot, things didn't really get out of hand because the scientific sequence was not particularly strenuous. It had virtually none of the yoga staples - I mean no down dog, up dog, chataranga, trikonasana (triangle pose), warrior I or warrior II, no half moon pose. Most striking - there were absolutely no poses that put any weight on the arms. The Bikram sequence does absolutely zero for arm strength.

And how is it run? Well, at the front of the room is a mirrored wall, and at its corner is a stage with a big white couch. On the stage (sitting on it's floor next to the couch...) is Juan, the instructor. He's wearing a black speedo bathing suit, a gold chain, and a head mike like singers or like aerobics instructors. He talks in rapid fire English with a strange Indian twist to it - "Breath in, look forward, hands under your chin, fingers interlaced, eyes open, look into your eyes in the mirror, lift your elbows up, stretch them even higher. Now breath out, push your hands up, neck back, look to the back of the room, feet press down hard, stomach in. Now breath in, head down, ..." etc.

From time to time the instructor would interject something like - "Don't tell me you're going to throw up, just go out and do it". All in a Marine boot camp kind of way. To give a more personalized effect he'd refer to some of the students by name, to some in their native language (Hebrew, Russian...), and to some of the women, by the color of their outfits - Miss Purple, Little Miss Yellow, or yours truly, Miss Black and White.

So what were my conclusions? Well, first of all, that physically this wasn't much of a workout - that's perhaps natural considering that it's donein a 105 degree room. In fact, despite the heat, the truth is that I wasn't particularly tired after the class, not as tired as I get even after arelatively mild standard yoga class. Second, that this was not really yoga,in some ways it had more in common with a Jane Fonda workout class than with yoga. The instructor in front with the microphone, the devotees watching themselves in the mirror, the sense that pain (or in this case dizziness) is gain. Third, that the attraction, particularly for men, is in the feeling of having been through some sort of boot camp class, being admonished, yelled at and mocked, and feeling that you were on the edge of throwing up, or at least that others are. And fourth, and most important, that Bikram may be a commercial genius, but that going to a Bikram class added nothing to my depth of knowledge about yoga, it was just a sad statement about the things that will really attract the masses...