Las Vegas Stories

As a snob that finds Las Vegas fascinating, but ultimately low class, I recognize that there is plenty about that town that would be edifying, if I’d only be willing to withhold judgment and take the time to figure it out.

As it stands, I go there only for trade shows, and even then I don’t take much time to really understand the city. This week’s lunch with a friend whose field is consumer marketing was about as close as I get to the underbelly of the beast.

The unresolved question, after a two hour discussion, was who are those “puffy” (as my friend calls them) beauties and studs that hang around the pool at the most expensive resorts. The old-news part of conversation was about the extraordinary girth of most of middle America.

The most interesting story was about the guy who started out his career in Vegas arranging events like weddings and conventions: In the past few years this chap has hit upon a more lucrative vocation. He arranges “personal events”.

An example. Say you’re going to Las Vegas and you’d like to get into a fist fight and beat someone up. Preferably in front of your girlfriend or your buddies. He’ll arrange for an altercation, say in a parking lot, or on the road (perhaps with a little car crash thrown in to start things up). Punches will be thrown, the other guy will look worse, and the police will not interfere (they will have been paid off…). Sure, people could get hurt. You, and all other participants will sign a waiver. But if this is your wet dream, and you have the bucks to pay for it, Las Vegas is the place to do it, and there is someone there to arrange it…