Pretty Shameful

A few years before my divorce, my previously secular Jewish husband became orthodox. The one and only positive result of that experience was the several good friends that I made in the orthodox community. They all belonged to the synagogue of my husband's choice - the synagogue of Rabbi Moshe Ben-Zaken, and his cantor, Chagai Batzri, the son of a prominent Israeli rabbinical judge.

Although I had no interest in orthodoxy, I liked Rabbi Ben-Zaken and his wife. So it was a surprise and shock for me to hear about Rabbi Ben-Zaken's recent adventure. Ben Zaken- married his protégé, Chagai Batzri, to a second wife, without Batzri divorcing his first wife - i.e., a polygamous marriage. I read about it first on Luke Ford's site, and then the Jewish Journal ran a detailed article on the whole sordid affair.

Ben-Zaken's justification was twofold:

1. Sepharadic Jews allow a man to have more than one wife, so it's permissable.
2. The first wife in question - Luna Batzri - had refused to accept the Jewish court's jurisdiction in the financial settlement of her divorce - she wanted the financial aspects to be worked out in civil court.

In case you're not familiar with the laws of Jewish marriage and divorce, a few clarifications:

1. According to Jewish law, a woman has to receive a divorce from her husband. It doesn't work the other way around, a woman cannot divorce her husband.

2. A woman cannot marry two men, i.e., she needs to get a divorce before she can remarry.

3. If a woman becomes pregnant from a man other than her husband, the child is considered a bastard, and the child and its offspring cannot marry within the Jewish community for seven generations.

All of which clarifies why a woman would be anxious for her husband to give her a divorce, and why a man holds much of the leverage in this situation.

Jewish courts have of course also recognized this inequality, and therefore generally feel obliged to force a recalcitrant husband to grant his wife a divorce.

In this case, however, Rabbi Ben-Zaken went in the opposite direction. In lieu of putting pressure on Batzri to grant his wife a divorce, Ben-Zaken condoned Batzri's actions by marrying him to a second woman.

How did he pull that off? Well, in its pure form, Jewish law allows a man to take multiple wives, but Ashkenazi Jews made this practice effectively invalid more than 1,000 years ago. Sephardic Jews, however, never officially banned polygamy. Ben-Zaken used this loophole, in essence to help Batzri in his effort to force his wife to accept the financial settlement that a Jewish court would offer. And in this case, of course, it would clearly be a rigged Jewish court, since Ben-Zaken is a long-time friend, and obviously has clear affinity to Batzri.

To perhaps state the obvious, Ben-Zaken did was unconscionable in many respects:

1. He's using his power as a rabbi to help a friend (Chagai Batzri) coerce the friend's wife (Luna Batzri) into what may be a very unfair financial settlement.

2. He's putting shame to the Sephardic community by exposing and using the never-used loophole of polygamy in Sephardic practice.

3. He's essentially declaring that, although he lives in the U.S. And benefits from all the country has to offer, he is willing to agitate against use of the American court system.

I'd like to think that Ben-Zaken didn't think the whole thing through before he did the deed, but it was a formal and planned marriage, he certainly had time to think about it.

At this point the deed is done, Batzri is officially married to his two wives. Ben-Zaken cannot undo that. But Ben-Zaken should whisper in Batzri's ear that he had better give his first wife, Luna, an unconditional Jewish divorce (financial settlement to be decided in civil court).

I also wonder if civil law could be used here - polygamy is illegal in the U.S., isn't it?

As to Ben-Zaken's position and respectability as a Rabbi - well, I think you should be the judge...